TIME TO BUST THROUGH THOSE POST-HOLIDAY BLUES!

by Lynn Pendergrass

Why do we sometimes feel down and depressed after the holidays? Sometimes the blues stay around long past January and into the new year. Many of us can feel physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted after the holidays come to an end. Oftentimes, we spend so much time, energy, and excitement preparing for this joyous season, only then to feel sudden loneliness, grief, and disconnection. And, for some, increased caregiver fatigue.

What are other signs of Holiday Blues?

• Feeling tired/little energy

• No motivation

• Sleep or appetite changes

• Isolating, not accepting invitations, withdrawing

• Trouble with concentration and decision making

Do these sound familiar? These are the same signs and symptoms of depression. So now the question is, what can we do about it? The most important thing to do is to acknowledge how you are feeling. Frequently, we try to ignore or push away what we are feeling, which tends to cause symptoms to worsen. Next time you are feeling down, take some time to sit with the feeling. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” It is very important to name the feeling. Are you feeling sad, lonely, mad, confused, etc? Where are you feeling this in your body? Do you have a stomachache, a headache, body aches, etc?

Let your mind go to the Why: Why am I feeling this way? What do I have control over in this situation? If you discover you do have control, then the next step is doing something about it. Let’s say you discover you are feeling lonely. What can you do? You can call a family member or friend and tell them you were feeling lonely and just wanted to hear a friendly voice today. You can get dressed and leave the house. Ask someone to meet for coffee, dinner, or lunch. Is there someone you know who may also be feeling lonely that you can reach out to and help both of you feel connected?

Some may be struggling with Grief and Loss of someone special who is no longer here to celebrate these special times with us. Grief expert David Kessler interviewed Wynonna Judd around Thanksgiving after losing her mother (Naomi), where she shared, “The holidays are the hardest time to pretend you’re okay.” And David responded, “The pain is part of the love you have for her.” He encourages those who are grieving to use Direct Ask as a tool to communicate needs to friends and family. This is where you ask them for what specifically you need. If you need to be in a certain place before, during, or after the holidays for your calm and support, then ask for it. If you need to be around certain people or avoid others, ask for it. If you need to turn down invitations and be alone, then do it. Explain to them what you need and why you need it, then be okay with this direct ask.

Kessler says, “This time of year can amplify grief in ways others may not see and make you feel like the world doesn’t have room for your pain.” If you are struggling with Grief and need support, I encourage you to utilize Kessler’s website https://grief.com/, where he has hundreds of resources and specialized Tender Hearts Grief Groups available to those seeking support.

What to do: As I mentioned before, it is very important to name your feelings, acknowledge, and own them. Permit yourself to feel this way! And again, we are back to…. What can I do about it? What do I have control over?

• Name and acknowledge your feelings

• Stay connected with phone calls, FaceTime, making plans, attend support group in person or online

• Start a new routine

• Prioritize self-care

• Do something! Take a walk, watch a funny movie, go sit outside and feel the weather/see the landscape, journal thoughts and feelings, volunteer, clean a drawer out or a closet to feel accomplishment

I will be at The SPOT on March 26th at 2:00 pm for a support group dealing with post-Holiday Blues or the Blues in general. Come meet with others who may feel the same way and discuss with us to make a breakthrough. If you are struggling with these symptoms and need professional support, I am available to provide licensed counseling services, and I specialize in supporting the senior population and their family members. Please feel free to contact me or visit my website for information and scheduling links.

Lynn Pendergrass, LBSW, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Comfort & Resource Counseling

214-301-3983

www.resourcecounseling.net