by Coy's Kitchen
Looking back to 1989, When it comes to holiday films, Christmas Vacation stands out as a comedic masterpiece, blending family chaos with heartwarming moments. You just want the Griswold’s to succeed no matter what life throws at them.
If you have never seen the movie, here is a quick set up: Chevy Chase plays Clark Griswold, an everyman dreaming of giving his family the perfect Christmas. With in-laws and extended family invading his home, holiday hilarity ensues.
At the center of this hilarity is the infamous dinner scene, where the Griswold family's attempts at hosting a festive meal spiral into chaos. Showcasing the attention-grabbing turkey in the scene would never look that beautiful from the outside and be that dry on the inside. It would be the opposite, actually - RAW. A turkey cooked in an oven for 450 degrees for 20 minutes would have a beautiful outside and raw inside. The reverse can not happen. That only happens in the movies. If the turkey is burnt on the inside, it stands to reason the turkey would be burnt on the outside.
The eggnog scene with the Marty Moose Glasses (a call back to the first National Lampoon's Vacation movie) are purely ornamental and not functional, which makes me mad to watch. Get a better glass! I'm sure Clark's eggnog was delicious but it's also about the cups that may have been cute were ordinary and to actually have drink from them without actually leaking on your sweater and floor - would have been extraordinary. In the same scene, The Christmas Windmill that falls apart is a fire hazard, and if you still have one, don't light the candles. And what is with that Dickie that Cousin Eddie is wearing?
Now, can we talk about the underrated asparagus Christmas tree? The tree was made out of asparagus spears held together with twine. The ornaments are pearl onions, green olives, and a red tomato tree topper. The simplicity and uniqueness of a vegetable as a tree are quite ahead of its time. Even today, we see so many crudité charcuterie that could be traced back to their roots of Christmas Vacation and the vegetable Christmas tree (no pun intended). Instead, it was overpowered by the turkey and eggnog, and that is just plain wrong.
So, gather with me so that we, as a community, can give the Asparagus Christmas Tree the true respect and kindness that is long overdue.
Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and to quote the immortal words of Aunt Bethany, "Play ball!"
Asparagus Christmas Tree
Ingredients
3 Bunches of Asparagus
Toothpicks
Twine
Decorations such as a cherry tomatoes, pearl onions, small peppers (your choice)
Directions
Trim to make sure each was the same height
Bundle 2 Bunches of Asparagus Twine in the middle as the Bottom Base
Set the 3rd Bunch of Asparagus on top of the 2 Bundles of Asparagus and Twine in the Middle (make sure the stalks on the 3rd bunch of stalks falls into the 2nd stalks twine for support)
Use toothpicks to add ornaments of cherry tomatoes, green olives, pearl onions, cucumber sticks, and carrot sticks and any other vegetables that inspire you.
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